Today, we attended a beautiful funeral for a beautiful person.
Some might think I am weird for saying that because I didn't know her very well. She was a close friend to Ben and his family. Just the same, it was a beautiful experience, and I felt like I knew her by the time we left because of the words shared by her little brother, bishop, and stake president.
Thinking about death and the life after, and hearing about the wonderful life Diane led, helped me feel the eternal perspective of life. I felt the spirit so strongly testifying of the truthfulness of everything everyone shared about the plan of salvation and our works during this life. Her funeral helped me have a better vision of who I want to be, and thinking about that helped me see who I can be.
I want to share with all our friends and family that I have a testimony of God. I know He lives. I know He is our father. I know that He sees the eternal perspective and that He knows what is best for us. I know that if we continue down the straight and narrow path that leads to exaltation, all of the experiences given to us during this life will help us reach our divine potential. It's not always easy, and not always fun, but we are here to find joy in the journey. We are here to prove ourselves worthy of returning to Him. That knowledge is what inspires me to be better. I want to live a righteous life so I can get back to my Father in Heaven and gain the eternal blessings promised to me.
I have felt God's presence and love so much stronger in my life the past few weeks than ever before. I have also made quite a few changes in my life that are helping me be better. As I seek God's will and His spirit in my life, I am blessed with joy, even when things are hard. I am so grateful for the opportunity I have to live this life. I am grateful for Ben, for my family (in-laws and blood relations. You are all my family), for my friends, and especially for the gospel. If any of you are struggling, I hope you can find God again and feel His love and presence in your life. It is the most beautiful feeling I have experienced.
Ben and Kilee
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
La Casa Don Miguel
We went to Cedar City to see Les Miserables last night. We met some friends for dinner at a local Mexican Restaurant called La Casa Don Miguel. What an experience. It's hard to put to words everything I am feeling because there is a lot going on inside my head. This experience we had with the server and restaurant owner was bad customer service on their part, but it was also childish behavior on my part. I think it's embarrassing, but I want to share it because of the humility I have felt while pondering on it and the things that I have learned.
Story:
I ordered pork fajitas. I've never had that as an option at any other place I have been to, and it sounded awesome to me. I love fajitas. Pork is my favorite meat. Can't go wrong, right?
Well, the first strike against the server was when she brought out a plate of rice and beans, she said, "Who got fajitas?" Ben and I both got fajitas, but his were beef. So I asked, "What kind?" "Any kind." So then I held my hand up and pointed to Ben and me and said we did. She put the plate down in front of Zach and walked away. Okay... It was super hot, so we got a bunch of napkins so we could slide the plate across the table to me. Then when she brought out the skillet of meat and veggies, she asked who ordered chicken fajitas. Well, no one did. "I ordered pork," I said. "Oh. Pork. Yeah this is pork," So then I asked if she was sure. No answer. She just put the food on the table and walked off. I was already starting to get annoyed at her (She came and refilled my water one time, and it was after I had taken only one drink way at the chips and dip stage of dinner. So I was thirsty and my mouth was kind of burning, but she never stayed at the table long enough for me to even ask for water.), and that action added to my annoyance.
I looked at my food, and sure enough, it looked like chicken. I bit it, and the texture was weird. It didn't really feel like chicken or pork--more like something in between. I broke a piece in half and examined the inside: it really looked like chicken. I decided to eat a little bit, but wasn't really feeling it. The spices on it were weird anyway, and I was really disappointed that it was not pork. I let Zach have some. He said it was definitely chicken. Marie said it looked like chicken.
So when the server came back and saw that I didn't really eat my food, I said, "Well, this is chicken. I ordered pork. Could I just get half off the meal? I ate the rice and beans, but not the meat because it's not what I ordered. It's not what I wanted." She went to go ask the cook if she gave me chicken or pork, and of course, she said pork. So she insisted, argued with me that I had pork instead of chicken. In front of everyone. All the customers in this little restaurant. So I stood my ground with the fact that it was chicken. Eventually, the owner came out and asked if there was a problem, to which I told her what was going on. She looked at my plate and said, "This is pork. I know what our food looks like. Chicken is white." Well, my meat was white on the inside. Completely white. I asked her to break one in half and see that it was white on the inside (of course the outside wasn't. It was covered in sauce and seasonings). She refused to cut it open and look at the inside.
Okay, regardless of if it was chicken or pork, an establishment needs to have better customer service than that. I really think it was chicken. They argued with me and insisted it was pork. Over and over. And over and over. It was so stupid. I got so mad when she insisted it was pork and asked if I wanted to eat it now, I told her the food was gross and to take it away. Bad move. That was really disrespectful, but I was egged on and no longer controlling myself very well.
In the end, she didn't even ask if we wanted dessert. The entire time, all I really wanted was fried ice cream and a churro. Even after it all, I was still trying to decide if I should get dessert or not (out of spite). They didn't even offer. Just wrote the check (which they didn't split for us) and sent us on our merry way to pay the bill. So then I was irritated that I didn't even get the offer to order dessert. I should have just had dessert for dinner. That would have solved everything before it even happened.
When the server was ringing me up, her bad move was bringing it up again instead of simply ringing me up. She said, "Since it was pork and not chicken, I can't give you any kind of discount." So my smart alec response was, "Well, it was chicken, not pork, but this is a stupid argument so I would appreciate it if I could just pay." Then she told me that I had a bad attitude and that I needed to be a nicer person. Which really stung. Because normally, I am a nice person. Normally, I encourage Ben to tip servers when he wants to give them a lousy tip. Normally, I get along with everyone. So it really stung when I realized that the entire experience caused her to say something hurtful to me, and I know I had hurt her and the owner by my actions (and by saying the food was gross).
In the end, my awesome friend Marie went back in (after I yelled at Ben for having me pay. Sorry Ben. and then told them what she said to me) and gave them customer service advice. The owner felt bad and gave her cash for what I paid for my meal. And we moved on with our night.
The whole entire night, I felt bad about this whole thing. It took me about halfway to intermission (which was almost 3 hours after dinner) before I could really focus on the play instead of dwelling on my thoughts about this experience. After all last night of pondering, and this morning, this is what I came up with.
What I learned:
1. Some things just don't matter. Did it really matter if my food was chicken or pork? Not in the grand scheme of things. It was disappointing at the time, but not worth the hurtful things said and done. It would have been easier (and less embarrassing) for me to just tell her I wasn't as hungry as I thought I was and just leave the restaurant disappointed that I had chicken instead of the pork I ordered.
2. Everyone else is a person too. If I was in the server or restaurant owner's position, I would have acted differently. But I have had a variety of customer service jobs, and I know how to act in many situations. But I'm also not perfect and have messed up with customer interactions too. Also, they probably thought they would have acted differently if they were me too. We are all people, trying to get by, and just living our lives. Like I said above, some things just don't matter. I need to learn when to let go of something. Which brings me to #3.
3. I don't have to always be right. When I was a teenager, I really struggled with this. My dad and I tended to clash because we both had to be right and we both had to have the final word. I have been trying to overcome those traits about myself, but sometimes I slip. Last night was one of those times. I am working on controlling my emotions and not always needed to prove myself right.
4. We are all children of God. And we need to treat each other with the respect they deserve as a child of God. No matter what. It's not up to me to judge someone and decide to treat them rudely because that person treated me rudely. I am judged on my actions. So my actions need to show who I am. I am not the person I was last night. And I am really going to work on controlling myself better.
After all this thinking, I felt really humbled.
Also, I have been working on a personal inventory to make myself better. This is one of those negative things that would be in my personal inventory.
I prayed a lot for forgiveness from God, but I knew that asking God to forgive me was not enough. So I wrote them a letter of apology and mailed it this morning asking for forgiveness. Now, I know I have done all that I need to in order to be forgiven of my behavior. Like I said, this was all very humbling.
I am just sharing this because after thinking about it so much, I feel like it needs to be shared. I am not trying to show how great I am because of this thinking/apology process. Maybe this story will touch someone who reads this and inspires them to be a better person too. This life is a journey to become the best you that you can be. I mess up a lot, but mistakes help us learn and grow and become better.
Thanks for reading :)
Story:
I ordered pork fajitas. I've never had that as an option at any other place I have been to, and it sounded awesome to me. I love fajitas. Pork is my favorite meat. Can't go wrong, right?
Well, the first strike against the server was when she brought out a plate of rice and beans, she said, "Who got fajitas?" Ben and I both got fajitas, but his were beef. So I asked, "What kind?" "Any kind." So then I held my hand up and pointed to Ben and me and said we did. She put the plate down in front of Zach and walked away. Okay... It was super hot, so we got a bunch of napkins so we could slide the plate across the table to me. Then when she brought out the skillet of meat and veggies, she asked who ordered chicken fajitas. Well, no one did. "I ordered pork," I said. "Oh. Pork. Yeah this is pork," So then I asked if she was sure. No answer. She just put the food on the table and walked off. I was already starting to get annoyed at her (She came and refilled my water one time, and it was after I had taken only one drink way at the chips and dip stage of dinner. So I was thirsty and my mouth was kind of burning, but she never stayed at the table long enough for me to even ask for water.), and that action added to my annoyance.
I looked at my food, and sure enough, it looked like chicken. I bit it, and the texture was weird. It didn't really feel like chicken or pork--more like something in between. I broke a piece in half and examined the inside: it really looked like chicken. I decided to eat a little bit, but wasn't really feeling it. The spices on it were weird anyway, and I was really disappointed that it was not pork. I let Zach have some. He said it was definitely chicken. Marie said it looked like chicken.
So when the server came back and saw that I didn't really eat my food, I said, "Well, this is chicken. I ordered pork. Could I just get half off the meal? I ate the rice and beans, but not the meat because it's not what I ordered. It's not what I wanted." She went to go ask the cook if she gave me chicken or pork, and of course, she said pork. So she insisted, argued with me that I had pork instead of chicken. In front of everyone. All the customers in this little restaurant. So I stood my ground with the fact that it was chicken. Eventually, the owner came out and asked if there was a problem, to which I told her what was going on. She looked at my plate and said, "This is pork. I know what our food looks like. Chicken is white." Well, my meat was white on the inside. Completely white. I asked her to break one in half and see that it was white on the inside (of course the outside wasn't. It was covered in sauce and seasonings). She refused to cut it open and look at the inside.
Okay, regardless of if it was chicken or pork, an establishment needs to have better customer service than that. I really think it was chicken. They argued with me and insisted it was pork. Over and over. And over and over. It was so stupid. I got so mad when she insisted it was pork and asked if I wanted to eat it now, I told her the food was gross and to take it away. Bad move. That was really disrespectful, but I was egged on and no longer controlling myself very well.
In the end, she didn't even ask if we wanted dessert. The entire time, all I really wanted was fried ice cream and a churro. Even after it all, I was still trying to decide if I should get dessert or not (out of spite). They didn't even offer. Just wrote the check (which they didn't split for us) and sent us on our merry way to pay the bill. So then I was irritated that I didn't even get the offer to order dessert. I should have just had dessert for dinner. That would have solved everything before it even happened.
When the server was ringing me up, her bad move was bringing it up again instead of simply ringing me up. She said, "Since it was pork and not chicken, I can't give you any kind of discount." So my smart alec response was, "Well, it was chicken, not pork, but this is a stupid argument so I would appreciate it if I could just pay." Then she told me that I had a bad attitude and that I needed to be a nicer person. Which really stung. Because normally, I am a nice person. Normally, I encourage Ben to tip servers when he wants to give them a lousy tip. Normally, I get along with everyone. So it really stung when I realized that the entire experience caused her to say something hurtful to me, and I know I had hurt her and the owner by my actions (and by saying the food was gross).
In the end, my awesome friend Marie went back in (after I yelled at Ben for having me pay. Sorry Ben. and then told them what she said to me) and gave them customer service advice. The owner felt bad and gave her cash for what I paid for my meal. And we moved on with our night.
The whole entire night, I felt bad about this whole thing. It took me about halfway to intermission (which was almost 3 hours after dinner) before I could really focus on the play instead of dwelling on my thoughts about this experience. After all last night of pondering, and this morning, this is what I came up with.
What I learned:
1. Some things just don't matter. Did it really matter if my food was chicken or pork? Not in the grand scheme of things. It was disappointing at the time, but not worth the hurtful things said and done. It would have been easier (and less embarrassing) for me to just tell her I wasn't as hungry as I thought I was and just leave the restaurant disappointed that I had chicken instead of the pork I ordered.
2. Everyone else is a person too. If I was in the server or restaurant owner's position, I would have acted differently. But I have had a variety of customer service jobs, and I know how to act in many situations. But I'm also not perfect and have messed up with customer interactions too. Also, they probably thought they would have acted differently if they were me too. We are all people, trying to get by, and just living our lives. Like I said above, some things just don't matter. I need to learn when to let go of something. Which brings me to #3.
3. I don't have to always be right. When I was a teenager, I really struggled with this. My dad and I tended to clash because we both had to be right and we both had to have the final word. I have been trying to overcome those traits about myself, but sometimes I slip. Last night was one of those times. I am working on controlling my emotions and not always needed to prove myself right.
4. We are all children of God. And we need to treat each other with the respect they deserve as a child of God. No matter what. It's not up to me to judge someone and decide to treat them rudely because that person treated me rudely. I am judged on my actions. So my actions need to show who I am. I am not the person I was last night. And I am really going to work on controlling myself better.
After all this thinking, I felt really humbled.
Also, I have been working on a personal inventory to make myself better. This is one of those negative things that would be in my personal inventory.
I prayed a lot for forgiveness from God, but I knew that asking God to forgive me was not enough. So I wrote them a letter of apology and mailed it this morning asking for forgiveness. Now, I know I have done all that I need to in order to be forgiven of my behavior. Like I said, this was all very humbling.
I am just sharing this because after thinking about it so much, I feel like it needs to be shared. I am not trying to show how great I am because of this thinking/apology process. Maybe this story will touch someone who reads this and inspires them to be a better person too. This life is a journey to become the best you that you can be. I mess up a lot, but mistakes help us learn and grow and become better.
Thanks for reading :)
Thursday, August 9, 2012
I'M GETTING A SEWING MACHINE!!!
For those of you who don't know, I'm getting a sewing machine!
I have this obsession with making things. I don't have all the time in the world, but I love design. Interior design, fashion design, food design, and artistic design (painting/drawing/photography/etc.). I love the feeling of creating something beautiful/awesome. Which is why my major and minor are absolutely perfect for me. I have enhanced skills within my hobbies that I love, and most of the skills and knowledge I have learned through school are things that I think everyone should have at least a basic knowledge of.
Anyway, I'm getting a sewing machine. That knowledge has pretty much been the highlight of my week. Now I have something else to consume my time with. Like I have lots of extra time to consume. I AM SO EXCITED! I put a lot of work researching new and used machines, along with project ideas that I want to do. I'm stoked. You don't even know.
I have this obsession with making things. I don't have all the time in the world, but I love design. Interior design, fashion design, food design, and artistic design (painting/drawing/photography/etc.). I love the feeling of creating something beautiful/awesome. Which is why my major and minor are absolutely perfect for me. I have enhanced skills within my hobbies that I love, and most of the skills and knowledge I have learned through school are things that I think everyone should have at least a basic knowledge of.
Anyway, I'm getting a sewing machine. That knowledge has pretty much been the highlight of my week. Now I have something else to consume my time with. Like I have lots of extra time to consume. I AM SO EXCITED! I put a lot of work researching new and used machines, along with project ideas that I want to do. I'm stoked. You don't even know.
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