Christmastime

This Christmas season has been packed with craziness: buying/making the perfect gifts within our budget for our loved ones, packing and getting ready to move, spending time with friends and family, and barely having time to breathe. While I have loved every minute of coming up with gifts, getting ready to move, and spending time with loved ones, I feel like the true meaning of Christmas has gotten kind of lost in the jumble of excitement.

I finally sat down last week and really thought about Christmas, and I have tried to keep the right spirit with me as I have gone through the rest of this season. Now, just a couple days before Christmas, I want to share with you what I have learned and my testimony of the Christ.

Christmas is a great time of celebration. It's when we celebrate the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Christ, our king, was born in humble conditions. He was born in a stable and laid in a manger because there was no room in the inn. The only thing extravagant about the birth of our king was God sending the Spirit to testify into the hearts of men that Christ had come. The Shepherds and the wise men came to visit. The wise men brought the babe gifts, and they had faith in what was to come to pass.

Why is the birth of this child so important? Well, it's one miracle that brought forth the series of miracles that would be Christ's life. And Christ isn't just any ordinary man. He is the master teacher, leader, friend, brother, and king.

Christ was sent here to save us from our sins and death. His life exemplified many attributes and qualities of life that we need to become our best selves.

He taught me how to love.
He taught me about gratitude.
He taught and showed me mercy.
He taught me sacrifice. And service.
He taught the plan of salvation.
He taught me about my divine heritage and role in the kingdom of God.
He taught me faith. And trust.
I could go on and on about what Christ has taught me, what He has taught all of us.

In His Atonement, Christ suffered for my (our)
- pains
- afflications
- temptations
- infirmities
- transgressions
He loosed the bonds of death.
He suffered so He would know how to succor each of us in our time of need.

Christ has give me the ultimate gift: the ability to return to my Father in Heaven. Without Christ, there would be no way.

He has taught me all I need to know about life.

So, at this wonderful time of year, we share our love with each other. We follow Christ's example and celebrate His birth by serving and giving to others. Of course, we should do that anyway, but the Christmas season really is a time of pure love.

The problem is that the Christmas season is tainted by the world's commercialization. We spend so much time focusing on gifts: giving gifts, receiving gifts, and so forth. I know I'm not alone in spending tons of time and energy trying to find the perfect gift, and also deciding what I want so I can tell the people who ask me what I want. The focus on gifts is not bad, obviously. We give gifts out of love. And Christmas is about love.

But what I hope I never forget is what Christ has given me and why I give gifts at this time of year. It's because of love for those around me, giving back what I can, and showing gratitude to those who have served me throughout the year. I give because I want to be as much like Christ as I can.

I'm grateful for the sweet peace offered me through the gospel and the Atonement.
I'm grateful for the gifts I have been given so I can serve and further the work of God.
I'm grateful for a loving family. And I'm grateful for the ability and opportunity to love them back.
I'm grateful for opposition and trials. They teach me my weaknesses and help me become stronger and come unto Christ.

I'm so grateful for Jesus Christ and what He has done for me. I know that without Him I am nothing. None of the good I do or have done is because of me. It's because He is guiding me and has touched my life. It's because His gospel has made me who I am, and I am continuously trying to become more like Him. I'm not perfect, but I don't have to be. I just have to try, and when I fail, I can repent and try again.

I'm so grateful for the opportunity to celebrate the birth of my Savior, my king who has given me everything I have. I'm grateful for the things I have learned this year through His Atonement.

I am so excited for my first Christmas with the Luthis, and I am excited for the many Christmases to come with both the Herlins and Luthis, along with my own little family. But amidst the holiday giving, receiving, and service, I hope I never lose sight of the true meaning of Christmas, the meaning behind all the wrapping.

For more information or good reading about Christmas, I loved this talk by President Monson in this year's devotional: https://www.lds.org/broadcasts/article/christmas-devotional/2012/12/christmas-is-love?lang=eng&query=christmas

It's December!

It's been a long time. That is due to finishing school and getting ready to move!

Ben and I have both finally graduated. Hooray!

The semester was tough in many ways, but the hardest part was the day before Thanksgiving when my back went out. Again. That made for a very difficult end to student-teaching, and I barely scraped through with graduation (assuming I actually did pass student-teaching. We don't really know for sure yet because the grade isn't posted. But I should pass). We are both so grateful for the tender mercies of the Lord that have been extended through various means.

Thanks to everyone who has helped us pack and clean. We are almost finished (we are moving everything out and finishing cleaning on the 26th and anyone who wants to is more than welcome to help :))!! Another big thank you to everyone who brought us meals while I couldn't walk during Thanksgiving and the week after!

Finishing school is bitter-sweet. There are many classes we both wish we could have taken because we both love to learn! We have friends who we will miss spending time with, especially me and my FACS buddies with hours upon hours doing crazy amounts of homework and eating things that are not good for you :)

 
Moving is also bitter-sweet. We are SO excited to live closer to the Herlins, but we are also so sad to leave the Luthis behind, along with our many friends who have been an important part of our lives here. Here are some of the memories we have made here. We love you all and are so grateful for the ways you have touched our lives!

Ladies night with the Luthi women while the men are at Priesthood session

Luthi Family

Luthi Halloween Party

Wilson and Jenna, Halloween while Wilson lived with us

Finally won the intramural championship!

St. Patty's Day Dinner

Just Dance Work Party!

The prank cookies for Steve and Ben

Date night with Kara!

CP Roomies

Some of my freshman roomies

Lauren

Steve and Ben

Jenae

Hiking around Zion

Best friends since high school :)

Kilee's soapbox

Today I talked to one of my foreign exchange students for a while about the education system. Then it sparked a really long conversation with my mentor teacher after school.

This foreign exchange student basically said that the schools here are a joke. School is way harder in Norway. They are more based on the sciences and math (which is what we are turning to as well), but they also don't have "busy work."

Okay, I really don't like busy work. I think all assignments should be given to enhance student learning. Although, some things could be busy work to one student but really needed to help another student understand things better. I think the ideal for me would be to have a range of projects or assignments with varying degrees of challenge and let the students choose to do whatever challenges them to the next level. Some would be easier than others, but the more advanced students who need more of a challenge would do the harder assignments. I would totally like to set up my classroom like that too in the future if I could. But then the problem becomes the "fairness" of that. So many people are so lazy these days, and life is all about trying to make everything fair (apparently). I can guarantee that students would want the easier projects because they don't think it's fair to let someone do easier work than them. Many people think that everyone should be given the same treatment, so of course it wouldn't be fair to let Jonny have an easier assignment than Tim. Then Tim isn't challenged enough in school and either doesn't turn in his homework at all or doesn't pay attention in class because he feels like it's too easy. I haven't figured out where the line is. No one really has. There is no right answer to these kinds of things. Teachers just do their best to meet the needs of their students.

That was a bit of a tangent.

Another difference between the US and Norway is that they don't have tons of homework assignments. It's just assumed that students will do their work and/or study enough to know the material. And they don't have multiple choice tests. They really KNOW the material. But here, teachers do give busy work and multiple choice tests. And I think that is because the young generation of Americans expects everything to be easy and handed to them. So, no, they don't really do much studying. We even had a class where many of the students failed an OPEN NOTE TEST. How is that even possible?

Another issue I have is when teachers form their class to have high expectations, they get a bad rep because they are "so hard" and "expect too much."

So, where is the line?
Well, like I said, I don't know.
I don't even have a really solid opinion about this. But I find the differences noticed by this foreign exchange student both fascinating and troubling. It makes me think.

What do you think?
(be nice)

Tribute to grandma

This is long overdue, and I hope none of my family is offended that this is so far after her passing. I really wanted to write this long ago, but I have been going crazy keeping up with school.

My grandma, Diana Rose Kopecky, was an amazing woman. She has always been a great example of love, faith and hope. I know that she loved my grandpa, my mom and aunts, and my siblings and cousins so much. She loved getting together and doing fun things. Last time I heard from her, she was in the process of planning a huge family reunion (which I was really looking forward to).

She had a strong testimony of the gospel. And she set a great example of hope and faith to me.
Many of you know that I have had a lot of physical health challenges over the past five years. Sometimes, it's almost unbearable. Sometimes, I don't know how I can keep going on because it's so hard. Well, my grandma suffered much worse than I. And I'm sure she had her down moments, but I never saw it. When she was hooked up to her IV, she would invite us to watch TV or talk with her, and whenever she had the chance, she would unhook herself from the IV and dance and sing joyfully, "I'm free! I'm free!" She loved dancing. I get that trait from her. And I loved dancing with her. She was so hopeful all the time. I never saw her angry or depressed or blaming God for the hard things her body suffered through. And I am so, so grateful for the knowledge that she is in a better place and free of that pain she has suffered in the past.

She shared her faith every time we talked. She always shared her testimony in some kind of way. In her emails, she expressed her gratitude of being a daughter of God and for the family He has blessed us with. And she shared her gratitude of having the gospel and being sealed to her (our) family.

I miss her so much. We weren't expecting this at all. But I have felt her presence. I can feel her sharing her love with me as I write this. And I felt it when we were in Missouri for her funeral services. And I have felt it at other deeply spiritual times.

So, Grandma, I love you. I miss you so much. And I thank you for everything you have taught me and for keeping our family close together. I am grateful for your legacy, and I am proud to be your granddaughter.

Random thoughts and catching the world up on us

A lot of has been going on.

My wonderful grandma passed away at the beginning of the semester. She will get her own post.

I also started student teaching. South Jordan Middle School was my first experience, and it was awesome. I learned a lot, and I know that I needed those students and the faculty in my life at that time. Lisa Frischknecht is amazing. She is a great teacher, and we are now good friends too. Now, I am student teaching at Timpview High School in Provo with Genet Orme. She is also amazing. She has so much knowledge that I get the privilege of learning from, and I am so excited for the rest of the semester. She is the type of person that I would love to just pick apart her brain. I want to see what she sees and know what she knows. I feel it is a very special blessing to learn from her. We have already talked much about life, the gospel, teaching, and all sorts of other things. Like I felt with SJMS, I know that I was supposed to go to Timpview.

We have also decided to move to Arkansas in January. And Emily got us a free puppy last week, so we have our cute little Paisley waiting for us in Arkansas too :)

Life is full of surprises, challenges, and blessings.

Thoughts Provoked by a Funeral

Today, we attended a beautiful funeral for a beautiful person.

Some might think I am weird for saying that because I didn't know her very well. She was a close friend to Ben and his family. Just the same, it was a beautiful experience, and I felt like I knew her by the time we left because of the words shared by her little brother, bishop, and stake president.

Thinking about death and the life after, and hearing about the wonderful life Diane led, helped me feel the eternal perspective of life. I felt the spirit so strongly testifying of the truthfulness of everything everyone shared about the plan of salvation and our works during this life. Her funeral helped me have a better vision of who I want to be, and thinking about that helped me see who I can be.

I want to share with all our friends and family that I have a testimony of God. I know He lives. I know He is our father. I know that He sees the eternal perspective and that He knows what is best for us. I know that if we continue down the straight and narrow path that leads to exaltation, all of the experiences given to us during this life will help us reach our divine potential. It's not always easy, and not always fun, but we are here to find joy in the journey. We are here to prove ourselves worthy of returning to Him. That knowledge is what inspires me to be better. I want to live a righteous life so I can get back to my Father in Heaven and gain the eternal blessings promised to me.

I have felt God's presence and love so much stronger in my life the past few weeks than ever before. I have also made quite a few changes in my life that are helping me be better. As I seek God's will and His spirit in my life, I am blessed with joy, even when things are hard. I am so grateful for the opportunity I have to live this life. I am grateful for Ben, for my family (in-laws and blood relations. You are all my family), for my friends, and especially for the gospel. If any of you are struggling, I hope you can find God again and feel His love and presence in your life. It is the most beautiful feeling I have experienced.

La Casa Don Miguel

We went to Cedar City to see Les Miserables last night. We met some friends for dinner at a local Mexican Restaurant called La Casa Don Miguel. What an experience. It's hard to put to words everything I am feeling because there is a lot going on inside my head. This experience we had with the server and restaurant owner was bad customer service on their part, but it was also childish behavior on my part. I think it's embarrassing, but I want to share it because of the humility I have felt while pondering on it and the things that I have learned.

Story:

I ordered pork fajitas. I've never had that as an option at any other place I have been to, and it sounded awesome to me. I love fajitas. Pork is my favorite meat. Can't go wrong, right?

Well, the first strike against the server was when she brought out a plate of rice and beans, she said, "Who got fajitas?" Ben and I both got fajitas, but his were beef. So I asked, "What kind?" "Any kind." So then I held my hand up and pointed to Ben and me and said we did. She put the plate down in front of Zach and walked away. Okay... It was super hot, so we got a bunch of napkins so we could slide the plate across the table to me. Then when she brought out the skillet of meat and veggies, she asked who ordered chicken fajitas. Well, no one did. "I ordered pork," I said. "Oh. Pork. Yeah this is pork," So then I asked if she was sure. No answer. She just put the food on the table and walked off. I was already starting to get annoyed at her (She came and refilled my water one time, and it was after I had taken only one drink way at the chips and dip stage of dinner. So I was thirsty and my mouth was kind of burning, but she never stayed at the table long enough for me to even ask for water.), and that action added to my annoyance.

I looked at my food, and sure enough, it looked like chicken. I bit it, and the texture was weird. It didn't really feel like chicken or pork--more like something in between. I broke a piece in half and examined the inside: it really looked like chicken. I decided to eat a little bit, but wasn't really feeling it. The spices on it were weird anyway, and I was really disappointed that it was not pork. I let Zach have some. He said it was definitely chicken. Marie said it looked like chicken.

So when the server came back and saw that I didn't really eat my food, I said, "Well, this is chicken. I ordered pork. Could I just get half off the meal? I ate the rice and beans, but not the meat because it's not what I ordered. It's not what I wanted." She went to go ask the cook if she gave me chicken or pork, and of course, she said pork. So she insisted, argued with me that I had pork instead of chicken. In front of everyone. All the customers in this little restaurant. So I stood my ground with the fact that it was chicken. Eventually, the owner came out and asked if there was a problem, to which I told her what was going on. She looked at my plate and said, "This is pork. I know what our food looks like. Chicken is white." Well, my meat was white on the inside. Completely white. I asked her to break one in half and see that it was white on the inside (of course the outside wasn't. It was covered in sauce and seasonings). She refused to cut it open and look at the inside.

Okay, regardless of if it was chicken or pork, an establishment needs to have better customer service than that. I really think it was chicken. They argued with me and insisted it was pork. Over and over. And over and over. It was so stupid. I got so mad when she insisted it was pork and asked if I wanted to eat it now, I told her the food was gross and to take it away. Bad move. That was really disrespectful, but I was egged on and no longer controlling myself very well.

In the end, she didn't even ask if we wanted dessert. The entire time, all I really wanted was fried ice cream and a churro. Even after it all, I was still trying to decide if I should get dessert or not (out of spite). They didn't even offer. Just wrote the check (which they didn't split for us) and sent us on our merry way to pay the bill. So then I was irritated that I didn't even get the offer to order dessert. I should have just had dessert for dinner. That would have solved everything before it even happened.

When the server was ringing me up, her bad move was bringing it up again instead of simply ringing me up. She said, "Since it was pork and not chicken, I can't give you any kind of discount." So my smart alec response was, "Well, it was chicken, not pork, but this is a stupid argument so I would appreciate it if I could just pay." Then she told me that I had a bad attitude and that I needed to be a nicer person. Which really stung. Because normally, I am a nice person. Normally, I encourage Ben to tip servers when he wants to give them a lousy tip. Normally, I get along with everyone. So it really stung when I realized that the entire experience caused her to say something hurtful to me, and I know I had hurt her and the owner by my actions (and by saying the food was gross).

In the end, my awesome friend Marie went back in (after I yelled at Ben for having me pay. Sorry Ben. and then told them what she said to me) and gave them customer service advice. The owner felt bad and gave her cash for what I paid for my meal. And we moved on with our night.

The whole entire night, I felt bad about this whole thing. It took me about halfway to intermission (which was almost 3 hours after dinner) before I could really focus on the play instead of dwelling on my thoughts about this experience. After all last night of pondering, and this morning, this is what I came up with.

What I learned:

1. Some things just don't matter. Did it really matter if my food was chicken or pork? Not in the grand scheme of things. It was disappointing at the time, but not worth the hurtful things said and done. It would have been easier (and less embarrassing) for me to just tell her I wasn't as hungry as I thought I was and just leave the restaurant disappointed that I had chicken instead of the pork I ordered.  
 
2. Everyone else is a person too. If I was in the server or restaurant owner's position, I would have acted differently. But I have had a variety of customer service jobs, and I know how to act in many situations. But I'm also not perfect and have messed up with customer interactions too. Also, they probably thought they would have acted differently if they were me too. We are all people, trying to get by, and just living our lives. Like I said above, some things just don't matter. I need to learn when to let go of something. Which brings me to #3.

3. I don't have to always be right. When I was a teenager, I really struggled with this. My dad and I tended to clash because we both had to be right and we both had to have the final word. I have been trying to overcome those traits about myself, but sometimes I slip. Last night was one of those times. I am working on controlling my emotions and not always needed to prove myself right.

4. We are all children of God. And we need to treat each other with the respect they deserve as a child of God. No matter what. It's not up to me to judge someone and decide to treat them rudely because that person treated me rudely. I am judged on my actions. So my actions need to show who I am. I am not the person I was last night. And I am really going to work on controlling myself better.

After all this thinking, I felt really humbled.
Also, I have been working on a personal inventory to make myself better. This is one of those negative things that would be in my personal inventory.
I prayed a lot for forgiveness from God, but I knew that asking God to forgive me was not enough. So I wrote them a letter of apology and mailed it this morning asking for forgiveness. Now, I know I have done all that I need to in order to be forgiven of my behavior. Like I said, this was all very humbling.

I am just sharing this because after thinking about it so much, I feel like it needs to be shared. I am not trying to show how great I am because of this thinking/apology process. Maybe this story will touch someone who reads this and inspires them to be a better person too. This life is a journey to become the best you that you can be. I mess up a lot, but mistakes help us learn and grow and become better.

Thanks for reading :)