Plano

Okay, so we had a family fail. Ben didn't do his duty in writing our 12th day of Christmas post. And I, thinking he would eventually write it because I asked him to twice, didn't post anything on this blog in about 6 weeks.

But here I go. Because we are facing major life changes.

No, not a baby.

We're moving! Again.

If you don't already know this, that's because I've kept it on the DL. I don't want my students catching wind of this yet. It doesn't feel like the right time, although I have no idea when the right time will be. When is the best time to give someone bad news?

It's only bad news to my students and administration at my school. To everyone else, I hope you consider this great news!

Ben got a job with Capitol One as a funding analyst for auto loans. Sweet deal, right? Even sweeter is the fact that we are moving back to my home!! His job is in Plano. As of right now, we have an apartment in Plano. Assuming that everything works out. We just found out that they may not approve it since my job is in Arkansas, not Texas. But we are full of hope and faith that things will work out. I mean, you can't really argue when you feel like it's God's will, right? (Don't answer that if your answer doesn't agree with the point of my question.) 

We truly believe that this is right for us. After he was offered this job, we took our whole situation into careful spiritual consideration, and we feel that this is perfectly right. There are some complications, of course, but we are pressing forward with hope and faith that things will work out. And, well, if things don't work out how we envision it, then it will be something to learn and grow from. Either way, it will prove to be a good experience. And an adventure!

This is our current plan: Ben left yesterday to start his job. He is living with some family friends (THANK YOU!) for a month, and then we will move in to our apartment the weekend of March 1. We plan on being able to visit each other approximately every other weekend until school ends. It's going to be a long four months...But it will be do-able. I think we will be stronger because of this.

It's really sad to leave Bella Vista. We love our ward. We have loved being close to my family, and we have made great friends here. But we know that we will stay in touch with people. And this is just part of life, especially when you have been unemployed/underemployed for a year.

So here is to a happy new year to us! (Yes, we have known for a month.)

Eleventh Day of Christmas: Twas the Night

I've thought long and hard about what to write today. It's Christmas Eve, and it's my last post for this 12 Days series. I want to write something powerful and share all of my knowledge and love of Christ.

But, I've watched some amazing videos recently that have really helped me find the Spirit of Christmas. I want to share them with you, and I'll let the videos do the talking. Please watch them! I'm not just posting them on here for fun (okay, I am, but the "fun" is to share my testimony of Christ!)!

I love you all. Thanks for reading our blog and for all of the love and support you have given us. Ben will get to close out this series tomorrow, on Christmas day.

Merry Christmas!

Tenth Day of Christmas: When I Survey the Wondrous Cross

When I was in the MTC, I volunteered to be a part of the missionary choir that sang at weekly devotional. One week we started practicing a hymn called When I Survey the Wondrous Cross. It's not in the LDS hymnbook and I had never heard of it before. But when we started going over the words, I knew that I had to memorize them.

At that time, I was still immature in a lot of ways and my testimony was pretty superficial, but this song gave words to some of my deepest feelings I have about Christ. It helped me feel a closeness to Him in ways I had never felt before. Just like I do with this song, I still get teary eyed every time I listen to it. I especially love the Mormon Tabernacle Choir's performance of it because it's just so powerful.

I hope you enjoy it!

When I Survey the Wondrous Cross

1. When I survey the wondrous cross
   On which the Prince of glory died,
   My richest gain I count but loss,
   And pour contempt on all my pride.
2. Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast,
   Save in the death of Christ my God!
   All the vain things that charm me most,
   I sacrifice them to His blood.
3. See from His head, His hands, His feet,
   Sorrow and love flow mingled down!
   Did e’er such love and sorrow meet,
   Or thorns compose so rich a crown?
4. Were the whole realm of nature mine,
   That were a present much too small;
   Love so amazing, so divine,
   Demands my soul, my life, my all.

Ninth Day of Christmas: Sharing Good News!

Luke 2:9-14

9 And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

10 And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

12 And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

14 Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

These verses are among my favorites in the scriptures. 

Can you imagine what the shepherds experienced that night? Can you imagine just doing your thang, then to have an angel come tell you a Savior has been born? Can you imagine the concourses of angels praising God and telling of peace on earth? 

What I can imagine about that night makes my heart swell and fills me with peace and light. I can only imagine what that night was like, but what my imagination comes up with is beautiful. I read these verses, and part of me is there. 

I love these verses in the nativity story for a few reasons. First, they just fill me with light. When I read them with full purpose of heart, I know what they testify of is real. I know that Christ is my Savior, and I know that He brings peace. His birth and everything that resulted has so much significance for my life, so much that I can only feel gratitude, peace, hope, and joy when reading these verses. 

I also love these verses because they teach me about humility and simplicity. 

Christ was born in the humblest of circumstances. For someone with such a grand purpose, the world would say everything should be done in magnificence. In this case, however, it was just humble and simple. He was born in a stable. 

On that same note, upon this beautiful birth, God sent heavenly messengers to testify. To whom did He send these messengers? Shepherds. 

God is no respecter of persons or status. Those shepherds could be anyone. In fact, pretend for a second that they are you. God had given us each an opportunity to receive witness of Christ. Our job now is to find Him and share the good news. 

I said that these verses teach me about humility and simplicity. The setting of this birth is humble and simple. There was nothing extravagant about it, just pure and real. 

This year I've really been working on humility and simplicity. Humility is a (kind of) obvious characteristic needed to draw closer to God, but I think we tend to overlook simplicity. 

This is my testimony to you that as we focus on the reality of life, and the most important things, our lives will become more full. As you simplify some things (for me, it's been getting rid of some time-wasting activities, turning my will over to God, and focusing more on being receptive to the Spirit), you will find the true meaning of life. You will be able to draw closer to Christ, and you will feel joy. 

Like the shepherds, see the witnesses God has given you (they are probably more subtle than angels coming to visit :D), and take the opportunity during this celebratory season to share the good news of the birth of Christ! If it's changed your life, it will be life-changing for others as well.

Eighth Day of Christmas: My Favorite Attribute of Christ

photo cred

As I have been thinking about my relationship with Christ since we've been doing this, I've been trying to think about what I love most about Him. There are so many things that He's done for me. I really feel like I would be nothing without Him, and I don't mean that in a superficial way. I've spent a lot of time thinking about this. And as I've been thinking about our relationship and its ups and downs, I decided that the thing I love most about Him is His patience.

Jeffrey R. Holland once said:

Except in the case of His only perfect Begotten Son, imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with. That must be terribly frustrating to Him, but He deals with it.

And He doesn't just deal with it. He still goes out of His way to be there for us, to help us, to love us. I've done some terribly frustrating things in my life. I still do, and it drives me absolutely crazy to think that I still do some things that I should have stopped or grown out of a long time ago. But when I pray and humbly seek God's forgiveness, He gives it to me. Every time. He doesn't roll His eyes and say, "Really? Let's see how long you'll last this time." He doesn't scold me for being weak. He doesn't give me the silent treatment. He wants me back, and He shows me that.

I'm not a very patient person by nature. As I think about the patience Christ has with me, I can't picture me ever having that. But I know deep down that His Atonement can not only act toward the remission of my sins, but it can also enable me to change to become more like Him.

I sometimes don't understand why He still forgives me and why He still puts up with me. If it were me, I would've thrown in the towel long, long ago. So I am forever grateful for the patience He has with each of us as we struggle through this life. I'm grateful for His understanding that each of us has different weaknesses and selfish desires, and that we can change. I only hope I can learn that type of patience.

Seventh Day of Christmas: A Gift

Yesterday one of my students brought me a gift. It is a handmade cross-stitched type of gingerbread house ornament.

This particular student has a lot of medical issues. I'm not sure what all is going on with her, but she has a learning disability along with no use of her left arm. She is one of the sweetest people I know. When she smiles, it lights up the room and my heart. She goes out of her way to be nice to people. And she works really hard in class despite the things that make the education world difficult for her.

People, she made this ornament for me. She has no use of her left arm.

I am in awe, and I am humbled. I feel like I can't even put it to words adequately.

One of my friends challenged me to photograph a moment today where I could see God's love. I know this was not technically today, but I saw it on my desk when I got to school today, and it made me think.

This small act of kindness and love is a sign of God's love for me because it showed me that I am cared about. Whenever I am the recipient of any act of love, kindness, or service, I know it is God's hand through someone else. In this case, I was humbled by this simple act from a student with many challenges. She loves me enough to create something with her hands when she has no use of one arm (and hand). What did I do to deserve this?

I could also ask what I did to deserve the sacrifice Christ made for me. The answer is simple: nothing. I don't "deserve" His sacrifice, but He gives it freely because He loves me.

May we carry that love in our hearts and give freely. We can carry that love in our hearts and be God's hands to someone else.

Sixth Day of Christmas: Let Him Heal Your Heart

I know it's a little cheap, but Kilee sharing her favorite song about Christ made me want to share mine too! And we're doing it on the same day! Awwwwwwww...anyway, my favorite song about the Atonement is called Let Him Heal Your Heart by John Canaan. Back in high school I got a BYU Men's Chorus CD and this song is on there. I was going through a particularly hard time and this song carried me when I needed it. I still get a little teary-eyed when I listen to it. It's hard to pinpoint my favorite part of the song because every stanza is filled with truth and the love the Savior has for each of us. I hope you enjoy it :)

Who can know the heartache that we're feeling deep inside? 

Who can know the burden you've carried all your life? 

Darkness fills the daylight and the road is much too long. 

Where is heavens answers and the strength to carry on?

When the night is lonely and your pride and fear depart, 

When the tears are falling and the questions fill your heart, 

Think of how he loves you, how he longs to bring you home.

Reach out for his guidance, he has walked your path alone. 

Let him heal your heart, remember every promise he has made. 

Reach into your soul, forsake a life of sin and he will shine that light inside again. 

Let him help you start, to live again and feel his endless love. 

Let him hold and teach you, love and reach you, let him heal your heart.

There's no simple challenge, every road is not the same. 

Every wrong decision is forgotten if you change. 

Feel his warmth surround you, see his arms are opened wide.

And know that he stands ready, when you start to change your life. 

Never doubt his goodness, don't believe that its too late.

He sees your every struggle, and he know the trials you face. 

Follow and believe him, put your trust in him again. 

And change your heart forever, let the miracles begin. 

Let him heal your heart, remember every promise he has made.

Reach into your soul, forsake a life of sin and he will shine that light inside again. 

Let him help you start, to live again and feel his endless love. 

Let him hold and teach you, love and reach you, let him heal your heart. 

Let him hold and teach you, love and reach you, let him heal your heart.