Eleventh Day of Christmas: Twas the Night

I've thought long and hard about what to write today. It's Christmas Eve, and it's my last post for this 12 Days series. I want to write something powerful and share all of my knowledge and love of Christ.

But, I've watched some amazing videos recently that have really helped me find the Spirit of Christmas. I want to share them with you, and I'll let the videos do the talking. Please watch them! I'm not just posting them on here for fun (okay, I am, but the "fun" is to share my testimony of Christ!)!

I love you all. Thanks for reading our blog and for all of the love and support you have given us. Ben will get to close out this series tomorrow, on Christmas day.

Merry Christmas!

Tenth Day of Christmas: When I Survey the Wondrous Cross

When I was in the MTC, I volunteered to be a part of the missionary choir that sang at weekly devotional. One week we started practicing a hymn called When I Survey the Wondrous Cross. It's not in the LDS hymnbook and I had never heard of it before. But when we started going over the words, I knew that I had to memorize them.

At that time, I was still immature in a lot of ways and my testimony was pretty superficial, but this song gave words to some of my deepest feelings I have about Christ. It helped me feel a closeness to Him in ways I had never felt before. Just like I do with this song, I still get teary eyed every time I listen to it. I especially love the Mormon Tabernacle Choir's performance of it because it's just so powerful.

I hope you enjoy it!

When I Survey the Wondrous Cross

1. When I survey the wondrous cross
   On which the Prince of glory died,
   My richest gain I count but loss,
   And pour contempt on all my pride.
2. Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast,
   Save in the death of Christ my God!
   All the vain things that charm me most,
   I sacrifice them to His blood.
3. See from His head, His hands, His feet,
   Sorrow and love flow mingled down!
   Did e’er such love and sorrow meet,
   Or thorns compose so rich a crown?
4. Were the whole realm of nature mine,
   That were a present much too small;
   Love so amazing, so divine,
   Demands my soul, my life, my all.

Ninth Day of Christmas: Sharing Good News!

Luke 2:9-14

9 And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

10 And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

12 And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

14 Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

These verses are among my favorites in the scriptures. 

Can you imagine what the shepherds experienced that night? Can you imagine just doing your thang, then to have an angel come tell you a Savior has been born? Can you imagine the concourses of angels praising God and telling of peace on earth? 

What I can imagine about that night makes my heart swell and fills me with peace and light. I can only imagine what that night was like, but what my imagination comes up with is beautiful. I read these verses, and part of me is there. 

I love these verses in the nativity story for a few reasons. First, they just fill me with light. When I read them with full purpose of heart, I know what they testify of is real. I know that Christ is my Savior, and I know that He brings peace. His birth and everything that resulted has so much significance for my life, so much that I can only feel gratitude, peace, hope, and joy when reading these verses. 

I also love these verses because they teach me about humility and simplicity. 

Christ was born in the humblest of circumstances. For someone with such a grand purpose, the world would say everything should be done in magnificence. In this case, however, it was just humble and simple. He was born in a stable. 

On that same note, upon this beautiful birth, God sent heavenly messengers to testify. To whom did He send these messengers? Shepherds. 

God is no respecter of persons or status. Those shepherds could be anyone. In fact, pretend for a second that they are you. God had given us each an opportunity to receive witness of Christ. Our job now is to find Him and share the good news. 

I said that these verses teach me about humility and simplicity. The setting of this birth is humble and simple. There was nothing extravagant about it, just pure and real. 

This year I've really been working on humility and simplicity. Humility is a (kind of) obvious characteristic needed to draw closer to God, but I think we tend to overlook simplicity. 

This is my testimony to you that as we focus on the reality of life, and the most important things, our lives will become more full. As you simplify some things (for me, it's been getting rid of some time-wasting activities, turning my will over to God, and focusing more on being receptive to the Spirit), you will find the true meaning of life. You will be able to draw closer to Christ, and you will feel joy. 

Like the shepherds, see the witnesses God has given you (they are probably more subtle than angels coming to visit :D), and take the opportunity during this celebratory season to share the good news of the birth of Christ! If it's changed your life, it will be life-changing for others as well.

Eighth Day of Christmas: My Favorite Attribute of Christ

photo cred

As I have been thinking about my relationship with Christ since we've been doing this, I've been trying to think about what I love most about Him. There are so many things that He's done for me. I really feel like I would be nothing without Him, and I don't mean that in a superficial way. I've spent a lot of time thinking about this. And as I've been thinking about our relationship and its ups and downs, I decided that the thing I love most about Him is His patience.

Jeffrey R. Holland once said:

Except in the case of His only perfect Begotten Son, imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with. That must be terribly frustrating to Him, but He deals with it.

And He doesn't just deal with it. He still goes out of His way to be there for us, to help us, to love us. I've done some terribly frustrating things in my life. I still do, and it drives me absolutely crazy to think that I still do some things that I should have stopped or grown out of a long time ago. But when I pray and humbly seek God's forgiveness, He gives it to me. Every time. He doesn't roll His eyes and say, "Really? Let's see how long you'll last this time." He doesn't scold me for being weak. He doesn't give me the silent treatment. He wants me back, and He shows me that.

I'm not a very patient person by nature. As I think about the patience Christ has with me, I can't picture me ever having that. But I know deep down that His Atonement can not only act toward the remission of my sins, but it can also enable me to change to become more like Him.

I sometimes don't understand why He still forgives me and why He still puts up with me. If it were me, I would've thrown in the towel long, long ago. So I am forever grateful for the patience He has with each of us as we struggle through this life. I'm grateful for His understanding that each of us has different weaknesses and selfish desires, and that we can change. I only hope I can learn that type of patience.

Seventh Day of Christmas: A Gift

Yesterday one of my students brought me a gift. It is a handmade cross-stitched type of gingerbread house ornament.

This particular student has a lot of medical issues. I'm not sure what all is going on with her, but she has a learning disability along with no use of her left arm. She is one of the sweetest people I know. When she smiles, it lights up the room and my heart. She goes out of her way to be nice to people. And she works really hard in class despite the things that make the education world difficult for her.

People, she made this ornament for me. She has no use of her left arm.

I am in awe, and I am humbled. I feel like I can't even put it to words adequately.

One of my friends challenged me to photograph a moment today where I could see God's love. I know this was not technically today, but I saw it on my desk when I got to school today, and it made me think.

This small act of kindness and love is a sign of God's love for me because it showed me that I am cared about. Whenever I am the recipient of any act of love, kindness, or service, I know it is God's hand through someone else. In this case, I was humbled by this simple act from a student with many challenges. She loves me enough to create something with her hands when she has no use of one arm (and hand). What did I do to deserve this?

I could also ask what I did to deserve the sacrifice Christ made for me. The answer is simple: nothing. I don't "deserve" His sacrifice, but He gives it freely because He loves me.

May we carry that love in our hearts and give freely. We can carry that love in our hearts and be God's hands to someone else.

Sixth Day of Christmas: Let Him Heal Your Heart

I know it's a little cheap, but Kilee sharing her favorite song about Christ made me want to share mine too! And we're doing it on the same day! Awwwwwwww...anyway, my favorite song about the Atonement is called Let Him Heal Your Heart by John Canaan. Back in high school I got a BYU Men's Chorus CD and this song is on there. I was going through a particularly hard time and this song carried me when I needed it. I still get a little teary-eyed when I listen to it. It's hard to pinpoint my favorite part of the song because every stanza is filled with truth and the love the Savior has for each of us. I hope you enjoy it :)

Who can know the heartache that we're feeling deep inside? 

Who can know the burden you've carried all your life? 

Darkness fills the daylight and the road is much too long. 

Where is heavens answers and the strength to carry on?

When the night is lonely and your pride and fear depart, 

When the tears are falling and the questions fill your heart, 

Think of how he loves you, how he longs to bring you home.

Reach out for his guidance, he has walked your path alone. 

Let him heal your heart, remember every promise he has made. 

Reach into your soul, forsake a life of sin and he will shine that light inside again. 

Let him help you start, to live again and feel his endless love. 

Let him hold and teach you, love and reach you, let him heal your heart.

There's no simple challenge, every road is not the same. 

Every wrong decision is forgotten if you change. 

Feel his warmth surround you, see his arms are opened wide.

And know that he stands ready, when you start to change your life. 

Never doubt his goodness, don't believe that its too late.

He sees your every struggle, and he know the trials you face. 

Follow and believe him, put your trust in him again. 

And change your heart forever, let the miracles begin. 

Let him heal your heart, remember every promise he has made.

Reach into your soul, forsake a life of sin and he will shine that light inside again. 

Let him help you start, to live again and feel his endless love. 

Let him hold and teach you, love and reach you, let him heal your heart. 

Let him hold and teach you, love and reach you, let him heal your heart.

Fifth Day of Christmas: One Who Understands

Yesterday was really busy, and today is too as I'm wrapping up semester testing and trying to get all the last-minute grading turned in (from late work turned in last minute...). So, I'm posting this now (late!), and Day 6 will come later today via Ben.

One of my favorite scriptures is John 15:13.

"Greater love hath no man that this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."

I love it because it tells me I am one of Christ's friends. He laid down His life for me, and for that I will be forever grateful. At this time, we celebrate His birth. What's so significant about His birth, though? His life. The life He lived, and the life He gives us is the reason to celebrate! His gospel is reason to celebrate! Because of His birth, we have been able to receive the rewards of His atoning sacrifice. Because of His life here on earth, we are able to turn to Him in times of need, whatever that need may be. 

He is always there. He loves us more than we can even imagine.

I want to share my favorite song about the Atonement. Watch this video:

I feel like I can just say, "'Nuff said" and be done. Because that song and video are amazing! 

But I'll just say that I know He lives, and He loves us. This year has been full of hard trials for me, and I've grown closer to Christ than I ever have before. I have much to learn, but I'm getting there. I wish every day that I could just shout from the rooftops and have everyone become baptized into His church! I know that He knows and loves me personally. And He knows and loves you too. He knows what you are experiencing, and He is just waiting to wrap you up in His love. He understands everything about your life. Turn to Him in times of need, and turn to give Him thanks during times of joy. Never forget Him because He will surely never forget you. Even when you feel lost and alone, He is there. You just have to look beyond the pain and see that He has never left you. Sometimes it's hard, but when I have found Him, I have found that He has been there all along. 

The Fourth Day of Christmas: His Love Fills Us

photo cred

I listened to a story on the way to work this morning. It was a story I’ve heard many times before, but it was good to hear again at this time of year.

Corrie ten Boom was a Dutch woman who was interned in a concentration camp in Nazi Germany after it was found that she and her family were helping an underground effort to conceal Jews from being arrested and sent to their deaths. Throughout her experience, she struggled to be as kind and forgiving as her sister Betsie, whose testimony of Jesus Christ and His saving power was inspiring, but her sister’s influence helped her to find forgiveness for herself.

Betsie ten Boom ended up dying before the end of the war and, in an effort to carry on her sister’s faith in the liberating power of forgiveness, Corrie began speaking publicly around the world about the peace and forgiveness she had found in Christ. The rest of the story I’ll quote from the general conference talk I heard the story from:

After the war she often spoke publicly of her experiences and of healing and forgiveness. On one occasion a former Nazi guard who had been part of Corrie’s own grievous confinement in Ravensbrück, Germany, approached her, rejoicing at her message of Christ’s forgiveness and love.
 “‘How grateful I am for your message, Fraulein,’ he said. ‘To think that, as you say, He has washed my sins away!’
 “His hand was thrust out to shake mine,” Corrie recalled. “And I, who had preached so often … the need to forgive, kept my hand at my side.
 “Even as the angry, vengeful thoughts boiled through me, I saw the sin of them. … Lord Jesus, I prayed, forgive me and help me to forgive him.
 “I tried to smile, [and] I struggled to raise my hand. I could not. I felt nothing, not the slightest spark of warmth or charity. And so again I breathed a silent prayer. Jesus, I cannot forgive him. Give me Your forgiveness.
 “As I took his hand the most incredible thing happened. From my shoulder along my arm and through my hand a current seemed to pass from me to him, while into my heart sprang a love for this stranger that almost overwhelmed me.
 “And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world’s healing hinges, but on His. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself.”

So if you ever find it difficult to feel love for another person, or even for yourself, remember that Christ can give you that love. When you struggle to forgive another person, or even yourself, remember that Christ can give you His forgiveness. It is His light that fills this world and penetrates the darkness, and it is through His light and life that we can all be healed. 

Third Day of Christmas: Caroling and Love

I went caroling at a retirement center with a few families from our ward tonight. Ben didn't come with me because he got off work late. He really missed out!

I've always loved caroling at retirement centers. I've done it a few times, and each time has felt magical. The people we sing to appreciate it so much, and I've always felt a strong spirit of love while there.

This experience was no different. From the moment I walked in the door and saw the excited faces anticipating our caroling, my heart melted. I actually almost cried, that is how strongly I felt. A lot ran through my mind in that instant: I felt a very strong love for every single person in that room as a son or daughter of God. I felt that I was in the right place, spreading the word of the gospel and bringing merriness into their lives. I felt peace, complete peace. I felt joy, and my heart felt ready to burst.

I also felt the spirit of my grandma. She was always up for a good time, especially if it involved music and/or dancing. I think she joined her daughter and granddaughters for a brief moment during the musical praises we sang. She always loved to hear us sing.

Upon the end of the night, all of what I felt boiled down to one word: love.

Tonight, I felt like I understood a piece of what Jesus Christ feels for each of us. He loves us. He ransomed Himself for us. I felt a piece of that love for each of the men and women with me tonight, both retirement center folks and the friends and family I went with.

Tonight, singing brought us together. We bonded over our love for Jesus Christ and the joy of what He has brought to life.

Tonight, I am writing because this is what His birth signifies: love. And joy.

And I can't think of any better way to share that with people than through music. Music is powerful. It has always spoken to me in ways that no others can. Music has healed and soothed my soul when I've needed it most and found no other balm. Good music is of God. We can use music to learn, to teach, to soothe, and rejoice. Tonight, we taught, possibly soothed, and definitely rejoiced through music.

Caroling is a Christmas tradition. I never fully understood why until tonight.

D&C 136:28
"If thou art merry, praise the Lord with singing, with music, with dancing, and with a prayer of praise and thanksgiving."

Merry Christmas!

Second Day of Christmas: Our Dependence on Christ

photo cred

Today in Elder's quorum, we talked about our dependence on Christ. It made me think of Ammon's boasting of the strength of the Lord in Alma 26:12:

Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.

I've gotten a lot of chances to think about the experience we've had since moving to Arkansas. I wrote a little bit about my feelings on my other blog, but today there were some extra things I hadn't thought about.

For those of you who didn't know, I was unemployed for the first six months of this year. I applied for scores of jobs in the area and interviewed for a good number, but I always fell short. It seems that almost every time I asked for feedback, they told me they thought I was a great candidate and they wanted to hire me, but someone just barely beat me to it, and I never knew the reason.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that there is a very good reason--God wanted me to learn something. If it was right for me to have a job, I wouldn't have had a problem, but He wanted me to learn that we are wholly dependent on Him for everything. I have the skills necessary to have a successful career, but I know now that that's not what's important in this life. It's important to realize that our relationship with Christ, and our acknowledgment that without Him we are nothing, are the things that will help us be the most successful with that which is most important in this life.

In the story of the Brother of Jared, God says that the winds that sent them to the promised land came forth from His mouth. There were a lot of times when that wind caused huge storms that buried their vessels in the water and they had to pray to make it back to the surface so they could breathe. And I'm sure it wasn't the most comfortable ride for them, but they were always moving toward the promised land. For me, I'm actually on a pretty good path right now toward self-employment, but that wouldn't have happened without going through what we've had to. The winds have blown and we've felt buried at times, but I can see now that we're still being blown in the right direction.

When we realize our dependence on Christ, it's easier to see why certain things happen to us. It also helps us to humble ourselves so that we can start making progress in the right direction. The enabling power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ is what makes that possible.

On the First Day of Christmas

"On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me..."

...A message about Christ that makes me happ-ee!

Starting today, we will be bringing you a Christmas thought/message/scripture to gear us all up about the true meaning of Christmas. I realize it's been a while since we blogged...maybe we will start being more consistent. Maybe not. Only time will tell. But for the next 12 days, we will surely be consistent!

Day 1: The Word

Yesterday, as I was driving around town with mi mamasita, she asked, "Kilee, I just realized something yesterday. Have you ever thought about the word Christmas?" Yes, many times, but as soon as she said this, I realized I had never thought about it in the way she was about to describe, and it instantly clicked.

Christ. Mas.

More Christ.

We all need a little more Christ in our lives. Christ represents so many things, but the biggest things for me are salvation, hope, and peace. Let's come together this Christmas season and bring more Christ into the lives of those that need Him.

Except, let's not stop at the end of the Christmas season. We could always use more Christ.

Credit

Blessed

I just want to write about how blessed we are. I don't know if I've already written about this, but I finally got a job. Woohoo! It's a teller job with Arvest bank. It only pays $9.75/hr, but it's enough for what we need right now and will be enough with Kilee's income once she starts getting a paycheck. It will also help me have time to work on the business. So when they first called me on Monday, they said the next available teller school would start July 23rd. Not ideal, but I knew we could make it. They called me the next day and said they should probably be able to get me into the one that starts on the 9th. Woot!

I've also been thinking a lot about our financial situation. I honestly thought that if I didn't find a job by the end of May, we would be toast. It's now a month later and I feel like we could make it all the way through to August when Kilee starts getting paid if we had to. The reasons why are as follows:

• My dad sent us a $500 check to use if we absolutely needed it, which we did. I didn't ask him to. He just did it.
• Kilee had her training in Blytheville. Because of the gas reimbursement that was WAY more than we actually paid for gas, we not only were able to pay to replace a worn out sensor on the car (which would have gone bad soon anyway and we would've had to pay that out of our own empty pockets), but we still will have about $100 leftover to keep.
• The Sasine's, a family in our ward, asked us to house sit for them starting today for the next 10 days. Last night when we went over there for last minute instruction and he told us they were paying us $300. Holy cow! I didn't know what to say. I probably weirded him out because I just stared at him, speechless. I think I made a sound, but it was probably unintelligible. We were totally fine with doing it for free. 

Such are the blessings that have come our way. 

I feel at peace with where we are. I feel at peace with my $9.75/hr job, because in all reality, I would prefer to start a business and be self-employed for the rest of my life anyway. So only working 40 hrs/week rather than 60 will give me some time to work through a business idea I am working on with a friend (We finally have friends!!!). We'll see what happens, though. Who knows where the Lord's plan will take us. I'm just grateful for the ride (and sorry for being lame about it sometimes).

Trekking across Arkansas and a venture into Tennessee!

Last week, Ben and I traveled to Blytheville, Arkansas (please read in best southern accent) for a training for my Nutrition and Wellness class. Ben came since he doesn't have a job, and we were able to make a mini vacation out of it.

The week was full of adventure! 

First, our car broke down just a little past Little Rock in a small town called Lonoke.  It was kind of freaky. We were driving, and all the sudden the check engine light came on then in that instant, the car just powered down. We got safely to the side of the road, said a prayer, and got the car started again. We couldn't go over 30, though, which made a lot of cars behind us mad (driving in one lane because the others were closed for construction). I was just glad we got it running. 

It's a good thing we got smart phones for Christmas! We looked up the nearest O'Reilly store and had Byron do a diagnostic check for us. We figured out what probably needed to be fixed, but it couldn't happen till the next day because everything was closed at that point. So we got a hotel for the night and chilled. Actually, we got to watch the Voice, which I am obsessed with, so it worked our perfectly! 

Being stuck in Lonoke overnight was so funny! I had to translate for Ben... He didn't understand their southern drawls! It was seriously so funny to me. I giggle thinking about it. Also, did you know I can rock a mean southern black woman accent? I told Ben that on our next date we should talk with thick accents as best as we can. Maybe he will do British and I'll do the South. 

Anyway, the next day we did make it to Blytheville (pronounced blah-vul) (just in time for the Voice finale!). I missed the first day of my training, but it worked out. 

The next few days were spent with me doing day training and spending the evening with Ben. Training was fun, and it was AWESOME to have so many resources and ideas for that one class (Utah teachers--you should talk to someone about having some specialized training for certain classes. maybe? I thought it was pretty amazing. AR has some pretty cool things going on with FACS). It was also really good for me to meet other FACS teachers and state representatives here. 

On the second to last day, we got to go out to lunch. I sat by a few black women who were so hilarious. One of them was trying to set me up with someone (I lost who he was somewhere in our conversation) because I have good social skills. Lol. You had to be there. Then, later, one of them was talking about her son's fiancée, who wants to freeze her eggs. Favorite quote from that week of training? "Gurl, I don't want no frozen granbabies! Them babies be like, gramma I'm cold and I'll just tell them it's all their momma's fault" (Read in best southern accent). If that's not funny to you, I guess you had to be there. We all had a good laugh, and the waiters were probably glad when we left :) 

Friday, we headed back to good ol' Bella Vista. We took a little detour and stopped in Memphis on the way! We talked down Beale, which would probably be way cooler at night, but was still pretty awesome. We saw W. C. Handy's statue (father of the blues), the walk of fame, and lots of bars. They had live bands playing in W. C. Handy park. We also found the first public park for blacks. Created around the turn of the 19-20th century. 

We also walked down Main Street to the Civil Rights Museum. If you have been to the 6th Floor Museum in Dallas, it's kind of similar. The top floor of the museum is all about MLKJ's assassination. It has the  room where the guy was watching the motel and the bathroom where he shot from all set up. You can see the angle, and the motel is right across the street. There is a wreath hanging on the balcony  where he was shot. The rest of that floor has information about the assassination, manhunt, and conspiracies. It's cool. The next floor down has civil rights history and other information. 

It was really inspiring to be there. I like learning about history. It was a reminder of where we have been as a nation and what we are still working to save. 

After this, we walked around town some more, at some amazing BBQ, walked by the Mississippi River, and headed home. 

What a week! 

A mile?

Source

JUST IN CASE ANYONE WAS WONDERING, THIS GIRL SWAM A WHOLE MILE ON SATURDAY! (yes I took breaks. I did it though! 33 laps in the pool.)

A mile, you say? I thought your back was injured...

Well, here's what I say to my back: take that, fool!

It's still injured, but I'm making progress!

Did I mention I swam half a mile in a lake a few weeks ago? Beast mode. I love swimming in the lake!

It's June 10!

There is absolutely no significance of this date :P

However, it could be significant! Ben had an interview this morning with Central States Manufacturing for the two positions they are considering him for! Can I get a WOOT WOOT?! One is a financial analyst position, the other has something to do with credit... (I think.)

He is currently at yet another job interview for Arvest. We don't have a lot of info about this position. He had a teller interview last week, and they passed his resume on because he is SO AWESOME! I think it's for a financial sales representative position. I'll get him on here to do a better update of his life. Is it sad that I'm not 100% sure about all of this? Lol.

My life is kind of crazy right now. By crazy, I mean crazy awesome! Last week, we had the awesome opportunity to watch my cousins and sisters while our parents went on a cruise to Alaska. Needless to say, we had an absolute blast. I took a break from school stuff and hung out and had fun with the family. We played the wii, made a fire to cook hot dogs and s'mores, played with the dogs, went to see Epic, went bowling, and played lots and lots of games at home.

Just chillin in my parents' closet during the "tomato." I mean, "tormado." Haha, Isaac was so funny!

Can you read the name on the ball? It says booger... they insisted on taking a picture!

 Oh the blissful days of being young and not having to fulfill job responsibilities. Sometimes I wish I was not an adult...

I feel like I have a lot of responsibilities on my plate right now, but I'm getting it under control. I'm on the Emergency Preparedness Fair donations and sponsors committee. Apparently, the EPF here is crazy. It's a HUGE community event. Last year, we had well over 4000 visitors. It's hosted by the LDS church and the local BSA troops. So, my responsibilities consist of calling last years sponsors, thanking them again for their help, and finding out if they want to be involved again. Hopefully they say yes, but if not, then I have to find more sponsors because this is a huge production. I'm getting to practice skills that I will need to pull some stuff off at school next year with FCCLA and community events that the school will be involved in. I just know that the reason I was called to this EPF assignment is to help me for next year. I can feel it.

School is a big crazy mess. I think I have signed up for all the professional development hours I need. Oh, I guess if you didn't catch it on facebook, I got a full-time job doing what I have done for the past four months--teaching at Pea Ridge High School! I'm so grateful I got that long-term sub job. So, during the summer I am attending some conferences for classes I will teach. Those don't count for PD, though, because they were paid for by a grant (lame. if I paid for it from my pocket, it would count. but we couldn't really afford it. I just get more learning experiences!).

I will be spending a total of 3 weeks during the summer attending trainings. I still have to get my classroom all in order, get the nitty-gritty classroom management things in order, figure out how to teach 97% paperless, create/fine-tune curriculum for a new class we are getting, purchase supplies for said class, estimate budget and lab costs for said class, and prepare myself for the other SIX PREPS I will have. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, during this upcoming school year, I will be teaching SEVEN different classes. Two are a full year. Five are semester classes, two first, three second semester. I've got my hands full. BUT I know it's all in the Lord's hands. He knows what I am doing here. He knows who He wants me to become, and there is purpose in us being here.

In the almost six months we have been in AR, we have seen definite blessings for our faith in moving here. We have also seen specific reasons why we moved here. Most of them are regarding students I have dealt with this past semester. Some graduated, and some I will get to continue teaching next year. All of them have blessed my life, that is for sure. And I have seen my skills bless them as well.
Also, one of my students took a picture with me and posted it as her woman crush Wednesnesday on instagram... lol

I'm so excited for this chapter of our lives. Now...if only Ben got one of those Central States positions. They loved him! They told him they are referring his name for the next interview, so hopefully that goes through :)

Mini Mission

This weekend, my stake had a mini mission. Ben and I participated as host families, and let me just tell you, it was A.W.E.S.O.M.E.

Um, did you know that the youth today are amazing? I knew it because I teach them every Sunday and because my sisters are amazing. But truly, they are amazing. When I was in young women's, would I have jumped at the chance to dress up all weekend and teach lessons as mini-missionaries to less active members or non members? I honestly don't know. The wanna-be-awesome part of me says heck to the yes. The realistic part of me says I probably would have done it, but it might have been grudgingly, and very scaredily (yes, I just made up that word).

The youth (14 and up) were assigned companions and assigned a host family. My family was out of town this weekend, so Ben and I signed up because we wanted to, not because my parents wanted to host the mini missionaries. We made them dinner Friday night, took them to an appointment, talked to them about teaching and the gospel and stuff, went to bed, woke up and made them breakfast (Ben exercised and made sure the girls exercised because that was part of the mini mission, but I didn't feel well, so I stayed in bed until they were done exercising), had gospel study, went to another lesson, went to a baptism, and then that was the end of our part. The youth then went to lunch and classes in the afternoon.

I can't even describe how incredible this weekend was. We felt the spirit so strongly, and it was great to be doing this service. For both appointments, the girls followed the spirit as to what message they shared with the people, and both lessons were very spiritual, and I could tell that both the lessons were exactly what the people needed to hear. Like I said, I can't even describe it. I was very impressed with their level of gospel knowledge, and I was impressed with their ability to just go teach a lesson to people they didn't even know very well. Actually, I was more impressed with their ability to teach a lesson to two kids who they know from school who the ward mission leader set an appointment with for them. That would be even more scary to teach someone their own age who goes to their school.

Being with the youth and sharing the message of the gospel was exactly what I needed this weekend.
And so was fast Sunday and testimony meeting.

I hope everyone is having a great Sabbath!

Being a Teacher

Wow. Who knew that teaching could be both the hardest and most rewarding thing in life?
Well, I figured so, that's why I chose this profession. But I didn't know quite how hard it would be.

This is how hard it is: sometimes, I imagine myself getting in a car crash on my way to school. So I don't have to go to school.. Is that weird?

This is how rewarding it is: the feeling you get when you find out that you are someone's favorite teacher. Or the feeling you get when a student finally makes sense of what you are trying to teach him/her. Or the feeling you get when the students make something so awesome that they are dying to take one (muffin/cookie/etc) to another teacher because they are so proud. Or when the students beg me to ask if I can chaperone at prom. Or when the students get all mad and insist that I should fake sick for my brother's wedding so I can come to their graduation. Or the student who I asked how her day was going, and she almost started crying and spilled everything out. Or the student who has lots of family struggles and comes to talk to me all the time because I care. Yes, teaching is very rewarding.

I have one student who apparently only talks to me. I am the only teacher he likes. I feel like that is quite the victory. One day, he drew me a picture (granted, it was on the paper he was taking notes on, and his notes consisted of the few words he wrote every time I walked by. but he left the drawing on his desk with a note that said "here you go, Luthi." attitude, yes. but does he do anything for anyone else? no). As time goes on, he talks to me more and more. Even though he is kind of a punk, he totally secretly likes me, as other teachers have confirmed.

Starting out was rough. I can't even imagine what it must feel like to have one of your favorite teachers ripped away from you, only to have her replaced by a teacher who doesn't look much older than you and is a "sub." I didn't get a lot of respect at first because I am young (and word got out that I just graduated college and this is my first teaching job). Another reason I didn't get much respect is because I wasn't their teacher from the start. I also had students dislike me because I am tougher than their previous teacher.

However, I have earned that respect. I have had students tell me that while I am tougher, they have learned more from me than her. I still have students who get onto me for not being able to take a joke (I can take a joke, but some "jokes" I don't appreciate). And I still have students who do everything they can to push my buttons, but overall, things are going really well. I have teacher-friends. The principals like me (they keep telling me I am doing great, and I was congratulated for sending a girl to the office for dress code whom the other teachers rarely send because they don't want to deal with her). I am figuring things out. I am having a much easier time balancing the lesson planning, grading, fccla, and whatever else I have been doing.

The job officially opened up for applications this week! So, needless to say, I will be applying. The principal really wants me (or so I have heard), so that is a good sign..

Teaching Update

I had no idea how hard teaching would be. I mean, I knew it would be hard. I thought I was prepared to dedicate basically all my time to my students, but I was in no way emotionally prepared for the load I took on three weeks ago. It's okay though. I'm growing.

This is my life: wake up (between 5:00 and 5:30 usually), get ready for school, go to school (usually arrive between 7:00 and 7:20), teach, prepare lesson plans/grade/other school related stuff, back therapy, come home, dinner, read scriptures, more school stuff, go to sleep. Oh the joys.

Really, though, the joys. Since I have started teaching, I have felt joy in ways that I cannot accurately describe. There is joy in seeing students "get" the information. There is joy in the interactions with students, especially those you know you are making a difference for. There is joy in seeing students' lives change. There is joy in hearing through the grapevine that you are so-and-so's favorite teacher. There is joy in a student telling me that the principal has told the girls that I am a good role model and they should look up to me. There is so. much. joy. in teaching. I love it. It's a lot of work, but I love it.

I'm kind of going through culture shock. My school has 500-600 students I think. I know about a solid 1/4 of the school. I can call all my students by name! Anyway, the school is small. But I really like it. We had a fundraiser dinner a few weeks ago for someone who has cancer (I think it was cancer. That was my first day, so I didn't get all the details because then it was over anyway). The whole community came together for it and halfway through, they had to go buy more food because so many people came! Also, I teach a lot of students whose families are in poverty. They have so many responsibilities at home, and really, school is the least of their worries. They come, though. They come. They get their work done most of the time. They work hard. Many students work and help provide for their families. It's just a really unique environment for me. Yes, they are teenagers. They text during class and sometimes think that the things I have planned for class are stupid, but it's really a fantastic bunch of teenagers at this school.

Things are going well. My life is crazy. I am so incredibly busy. My stress bottles up and tends to explode on the weekends. But I love every minute of what is happening right now. I don't get paid nearly enough, but it's still worth it to me. It is weird being in such a small environment, but I do love it. I don't know if I would choose to work in a larger district with more pay if I had the choice. I think I would stay where I am. But I don't know. Right now I don't have other options anyway so it doesn't matter.

When I get another chance soon, I'll update again. And for those who are FACS people and have been wondering about the differences here, it's coming :)

God's timing

Alright everyone, here is the scoop.

When we first moved out here, I put in my application to sub in the Bentonville district, but I never heard back. I thought it was really weird, I mean, I'm a certified teacher and I know my application was good. I called the lady a couple times, but I never heard back from her. Maybe I should have gone down to the administration office, but I didn't. Oh well. Ultimately, I was kind of grateful to have not gotten a sub job at that time so I could focus on getting my back better (I don't remember if I ever posted a story about this, but I really messed up my back again during Thanksgiving break). So, I thought it was weird, but I also was like eh, oh well. Now's my time to heal and spend time with my family.

So, I found a chiropractor, and we are doing a therapy program that is supposed to have me as healed as I can be in three months. By the way, I am one month in and making HUGE progress!

A couple weeks ago, someone in our ward posted on my mom's facebook saying that Pea Ridge (a smaller district, but still pretty close) was hiring subs. Apparently, they have been experiencing a lot of sickness and there haven't been enough subs to cover for the teachers. I only had 4 days to scramble and get everything together. They pretty much hired everyone who came to the training meeting, so we had to come with all of our official documents and stuff for hiring, and I had to go to the county health department to do a TB skin test. I got everything done and put together and made my merry way to training.

Pea Ridge is a fairly small town with only 4 schools, and it's its own district. They still do paper applications (everywhere else I looked, you had to do the online application), and they don't have an electronic sub system. The sub system is on a phone call basis. I was kind of worried about it because I figured the school officials would just call the subs they normally use, and I wouldn't be able to snag jobs based on when and what I want to teach.

The application was due and the training was on a Thursday. No phone call Friday. Monday morning, I received a phone call from the High School principal. "Hi Kilee, my name is Jon Laffoon, and I am the principal at Pea Ridge High School. I have your application on my desk, and I see that you are a certified Family and Consumer Science teacher." "Yes." "Well, how would you like a Family and Consumer Science teaching position right now.?"

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? Heck to the yes.

The only reason I was hesitant was my back situation. I told him I was honored and excited for the opportunity, but I asked for some time to talk it over with Ben and my doctor.

The school's situation was this: a counselor went on medical leave for the rest of the semester. They moved the FACS teacher to the counseling position for now and were looking for a long-term sub for the FACS classes. The counselor went on medical leave the week (possibly day) that I turned in my application. They were freaking out. Then, my application lands on his desk and voila! He has the answer to his prayers.

It was also what I wanted and an answer to my prayers.

So, I prayed about it and thought about it all that day, and I felt so much happier and confident than in a long time. I just felt like it was the right thing. I also felt like that had pretty much been handed to me and God has some reason for me to be at that school right now. Ben agreed. And my chiropractor said that I should do it and that my back could take it.

I called the principal back and said yes, I had an official interview, and I got started trying to prepare myself for this week. My interview and hiring was last Thursday. I spend a few hours Friday at the school, and I had to teach starting Monday (yes, this Monday, the holiday). This week has been a whirlwind! Wednesday was a half day due to bad weather, and today was cancelled too. So, it's been two and a half days of teaching, but it has felt so good! It's nice to be doing what I went to college and have been living for. I love teaching! It's also nice to feel that confidence and pep in my step and for my back to be getting better.

Maybe in a couple weeks I will be like what have I gotten myself into? But, I think it will be great. I know that as I get to know my students better that things will all be good. And I have the principal, assistant principal, and the teacher I am subbing for there at the school helping me out and watching my back. It's really nice that the teacher is there at the school to help me.

It could turn full-time if that counselor doesn't come back. . . I hope she doesn't come back lol. But, either way, it's a great experience for me!

I titled this post God's timing. That is because I think that God has a plan for me. The plan was not to sub at Bentonville, so I had to get rejected in order to follow this plan. There is a plan for the healing of my back. There is a plan for me getting a job. And for Ben to get a job. I can see things all coming together--us coming here and everything that went into that decision. I feel so blessed to be able to see God's hand in our lives, and I am grateful for that.

Who likes long blog posts without a picture? Well, I have done that, but I just love this picture. 

Look at us, how precious!

!!!

Well, I got to start swimming again last week! That is progress!
Also, Ben and I got called to be the 14-year-old class Sunday School teachers!

Welcome to Arkansas

Well, we officially moved to Arkansas.
We did it!

We've experienced a lot of emotions over the past couple of weeks as we spent Christmas with the Luthis, packed up everything we owned, said goodbye to everything we have known together, and welcomed a new life down South. Happy. Sad. Excited. Nervous. Scared. Happy. Excited. Utah-home-sick. Excited.

You know how moving goes.

We had a nice drive down here from Utah. It took about 25 hours (I think), but it could have been worse. Ben's dad was driving the moving truck, so it took him even a few hours longer (thanks for doing that). The reason it took so long is because we left in the middle of a snowstorm and had to take alternate routes to get the least-dangerous roads. And we had to drive slow coming out of Utah and through Colorado.

We left this

And knew we were truly in the South when we saw this :)

The first couple weeks of being here have been good. It's been nice to get into a routine of living with the Herlins. Ben is at a job interview right now (woot!), and I am in the process of getting a substitute teaching job (hopefully!!) and transferring my teaching license to Arkansas. Our ward is really nice, which is reassuring. We want to find a house in this ward because it is that awesome.

It's weird to be graduated and getting things ready for "real" life. It's weird to be trying to save for a house and talking about houses and prices. It's weird and exciting!

My back is doing well. I have finally graduated from my brace! Monday was the first day that I didn't wear it at all. Friday or Saturday I went out for my first walk (half a mile). Yesterday, I decided to do two half-mile walks each day. When I am good with that, I will increase my mileage or number or walks. Or both. I am just trying to take it easy though, I promise. I am trusting in the plan for me and taking advantage of opportunities that come, but not getting mad or depressed about what I can't do. I still hope I can do the Grand Teton Relay in August. But I am trying not to think about it :) Just one step at a time, right? I am grateful that I have been able to sew a little and start playing the piano again too!

Our dog, Paisley, is the cutest.
Here is a link to a picture of her on Instagram. I love her!

So, life is good. We've been married almost 2 1/2 years, and we graduated, have a dog (no baby on the way, sorry folks), almost have real jobs, and are looking forward to what life brings us!

I'll try to do a better job at keeping up to date this year. Not my new year's resolution, though. So don't hold me accountable for that :)