Being a Teacher

Wow. Who knew that teaching could be both the hardest and most rewarding thing in life?
Well, I figured so, that's why I chose this profession. But I didn't know quite how hard it would be.

This is how hard it is: sometimes, I imagine myself getting in a car crash on my way to school. So I don't have to go to school.. Is that weird?

This is how rewarding it is: the feeling you get when you find out that you are someone's favorite teacher. Or the feeling you get when a student finally makes sense of what you are trying to teach him/her. Or the feeling you get when the students make something so awesome that they are dying to take one (muffin/cookie/etc) to another teacher because they are so proud. Or when the students beg me to ask if I can chaperone at prom. Or when the students get all mad and insist that I should fake sick for my brother's wedding so I can come to their graduation. Or the student who I asked how her day was going, and she almost started crying and spilled everything out. Or the student who has lots of family struggles and comes to talk to me all the time because I care. Yes, teaching is very rewarding.

I have one student who apparently only talks to me. I am the only teacher he likes. I feel like that is quite the victory. One day, he drew me a picture (granted, it was on the paper he was taking notes on, and his notes consisted of the few words he wrote every time I walked by. but he left the drawing on his desk with a note that said "here you go, Luthi." attitude, yes. but does he do anything for anyone else? no). As time goes on, he talks to me more and more. Even though he is kind of a punk, he totally secretly likes me, as other teachers have confirmed.

Starting out was rough. I can't even imagine what it must feel like to have one of your favorite teachers ripped away from you, only to have her replaced by a teacher who doesn't look much older than you and is a "sub." I didn't get a lot of respect at first because I am young (and word got out that I just graduated college and this is my first teaching job). Another reason I didn't get much respect is because I wasn't their teacher from the start. I also had students dislike me because I am tougher than their previous teacher.

However, I have earned that respect. I have had students tell me that while I am tougher, they have learned more from me than her. I still have students who get onto me for not being able to take a joke (I can take a joke, but some "jokes" I don't appreciate). And I still have students who do everything they can to push my buttons, but overall, things are going really well. I have teacher-friends. The principals like me (they keep telling me I am doing great, and I was congratulated for sending a girl to the office for dress code whom the other teachers rarely send because they don't want to deal with her). I am figuring things out. I am having a much easier time balancing the lesson planning, grading, fccla, and whatever else I have been doing.

The job officially opened up for applications this week! So, needless to say, I will be applying. The principal really wants me (or so I have heard), so that is a good sign..